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It has been a tough week. Hell every week is tough, some more than… - Jaimeson [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Jaimeson

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[Apr. 9th, 2003|11:27 pm]
Jaimeson
[music |Undone (The Sweater Song)-Weezer-Weezer]

It has been a tough week. Hell every week is tough, some more than others granted. But this week hasn't been one that I thought I would have to see in this way. I always thought that being on the short end of a broken-up relationship would be really hard. For me it hasn't been, all that hard. The only times that I find myself really sad are when I realize how I can't/won't be able to do stupid stuff with her anymore, just the little things.

I feel like I hurt her in some way, the way she won't talk to me. I am still the same guy, I still care about her, I still want everything to be good for her. That does hurt me a little bit. But if that's the worst of it (boy, don't I hope?) things for me should go pretty well.

Nothing like having your heart broken to find out what you need to do about yourself.

Well that was how I was going to end it. But something in me said no.

So here it really goes.

I haven't had time to deal with what's going on, I think I am scared that when I do it will really be over. I can't sleep because I am scared that she will be in my dreams, and I'll wake up to myself. How could I have overlooked what an asshole I became? How did she take my crap for so long? I feel so small, I feel like all I ever did was hurt her. How long can I go without dealing with this? Will it just go away someday?

Isn't it funny how songs all have to deal with love when you hurt, and more importiantly how they all have to do with the love you are hurting from?

This isn't going anywhere, maybe tomorrow I will know where to take it.

Good night everyone.
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Comments:
From: crystalann
2003-05-24 01:03 pm (UTC)
I know you don't post much, but I added you anyways. :)

We seem to have very similar taste in music... and that's so important to me! Plus, you seem like you could be cool. :)
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[User Picture]From: ezzie
2003-05-24 01:33 pm (UTC)
Hey thanks for the comment. I know I should post more, I just never have the right things to say. Thats so cool that you intern at Drive 105, I have been meaning to get an application in there for a Engineering Internship. JP and I are pretty cool, as are Justin and I. I added you back. I'll try to post more often.
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From: crystalann
2003-05-24 01:46 pm (UTC)
Awww, so you must be the Jaimeson that JP plays songs for! :) I was actually wondering that, when I saw what your name is. :)

So how do you know JP and Justin?? I've never hung out with JP outside of things for Drive, but I'm hoping to soon when my friend Tony comes up here to visit. He used to hang out with JP all the time, before he had to move back home.

I was just giving you shit about the posting. I don't mind that you don't post a lot... as long as you read your friends list! LOL! :)
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[User Picture]From: ezzie
2003-05-24 01:59 pm (UTC)
Yeah I guess I'm that Jaimeson, I haven't really seen JP in a long time, haven't you noticed he only has about 10 people he "says" he is playing stuff for. I just so happen to be one of those people. As for knowing Justin I just ran into him one day at my work and talked to him for awhile. I need give him a call to get him in the studio. Thanks for the psudo reminder.

P.S. don't worry I read my friends list everyday.
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From: crystalann
2003-05-24 02:07 pm (UTC)
Of course I noticed he only has a handful of people he plays songs for! LOL :)
I used to be "Crystal the embroidery queen" but I haven't heard him play a song for me in awhile. Then again, I don't have time to listen to his show much. I doubt he plays stuff for me anymore, because I used to see him a lot when I'd watch him do his shift. Not so much anymore.
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