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(no subject) [Apr. 9th, 2003|11:27 pm]
[music |Undone (The Sweater Song)-Weezer-Weezer]

It has been a tough week. Hell every week is tough, some more than others granted. But this week hasn't been one that I thought I would have to see in this way. I always thought that being on the short end of a broken-up relationship would be really hard. For me it hasn't been, all that hard. The only times that I find myself really sad are when I realize how I can't/won't be able to do stupid stuff with her anymore, just the little things.

I feel like I hurt her in some way, the way she won't talk to me. I am still the same guy, I still care about her, I still want everything to be good for her. That does hurt me a little bit. But if that's the worst of it (boy, don't I hope?) things for me should go pretty well.

Nothing like having your heart broken to find out what you need to do about yourself.

Well that was how I was going to end it. But something in me said no.

So here it really goes.

I haven't had time to deal with what's going on, I think I am scared that when I do it will really be over. I can't sleep because I am scared that she will be in my dreams, and I'll wake up to myself. How could I have overlooked what an asshole I became? How did she take my crap for so long? I feel so small, I feel like all I ever did was hurt her. How long can I go without dealing with this? Will it just go away someday?

Isn't it funny how songs all have to deal with love when you hurt, and more importiantly how they all have to do with the love you are hurting from?

This isn't going anywhere, maybe tomorrow I will know where to take it.

Good night everyone.
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And so... [Apr. 6th, 2003|12:37 pm]
[mood |confused]
[music |Waxing Or Waning?-Better Than Ezra-How Does Your Garden Grow?]

It's over, 3 and a half years gone. And how was your day?
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Not April Fools [Apr. 2nd, 2003|09:42 am]
[mood |sad]
[music |Hate This Place - Goo Goo Dolls]

Sometimes the world collapses in
Sometimes you are the one that needs the control
Sometimes you give it all away for love
Sometimes you get bitten
Sometimes you die of a broken heart

I may die today...
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(no subject) [Feb. 18th, 2003|11:03 pm]
Music means so much to me. It's more than just words, instruments, songs, that type of stuff. Sometimes I wonder how amazing it would be for me to be the one that people are crying, smiling, laughing to while listening. Isn't it great how a simple song can take your mood and flip it 180 degres, how knowing someone else felt your pain, sorrow, happiness, and hurt. These days it's a wonder people are still want to become musicans, too many of us are taking away one of the only ways we can support these people by downloading, and show them how much their words, and songs mean to us. I hate downloading.
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(no subject) [Feb. 5th, 2003|07:54 pm]
[music |cars crash 1/31/03 (master)]

I made it through the first semester at IPR, and did quite well. We've strayed away from the endless "this is how this is always done" type stuff and started to get our hands even more on and into the equipment. I love my school and can't wait to get into the music industry, but I'm scared work is going to be tough to find here, and that I'm not creative enough for this type of work. Hopefully, I can prove myself wrong before October.
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(no subject) [Nov. 25th, 2002|11:27 pm]
[mood |blank]
[music |Standard Lines-Dashboard Confessional-The Places You Have Come to Fear the]

I saw something pretty odd today on the way home from school. I was driving down Portland Ave. ( a residential street that takes you out of Minneapolis, ) letting you not worry about the other 90,000 people on 35-W south at 2:30 pm everyday. All wanting out of that poor excuse of a bustling metropolis. But yet let you worry about the hundreds of kids that run out into the street at any given time. But anyway there was an accident on Portland, no problem happens a lot, but yet this one was different. For it was a Dodge Caravan tipped on its side, not an unusual site in Minnesota (when there's at least some snow on the ground, and on a freeway,) but on a street where speed limit is like 30 mph?? Just struck me as odd.
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Cowboy Mouth [Nov. 24th, 2002|11:14 am]
[mood |blank]
[music |Stars Shine Quietly-Mason Jennings-Birds Flying Away]

I saw Cowboy Mouth last night at The Quest, was a great show caught a little bit of their show when they were here with Better Than Ezra last March (CM is from New Orleans too, good friends with Ezra.) I have always dug CM and was psyched to see them on their own headlining show, the show was so wild, they really get the crowd going. I was right up front, nothing better it's like two diffrent shows (being up front rather than behind.) The Chris Schaffer Band opened, former The Why Store people, the put on a pretty good set. I managed to get a CM pick and Drumstick. Talked to Fred and John from CM after the show, got Fred to sign the stick, and John and Fred to sign a cd i bought. All in all pretty good for a free show. I won tickets from Drive 105.
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(no subject) [Nov. 18th, 2002|11:10 pm]
[mood |sore]
[music |Life-Our Lady Peace-Spiritual Machines]


Made it to the store, forgot bottled water, and chapstick ooh well! I did however pick up Golden Grahms with a free Muppets Take Manhatten DVD, MAJOR SCORE!!!
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(no subject) [Nov. 18th, 2002|08:37 pm]
[mood |sore]
[music |Life-Our Lady Peace-Spiritual Machines]

My head hurts right now... I guess that's what an unplanned nap will do to you.
A few weeks ago I was up to a two nap a day habbit. Luckily I got the nap patch and I've been down to one a day lately.

This time of year is always so odd, I can never be too cold or too warm, I wish it was always about 40 degres out, I would love that.

I need to go to the grochery store, I need water, chapstick, bread, pop (soda if you live anywhere but here.) and anything else that just so happens to find its way into my cart.

I don't wanna talk anymore...maybe later...maybe not?
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This was kinda fun. [Nov. 4th, 2002|11:22 pm]
[mood |amused]
[music |State Street State of Mind - Better Than Ezra]

Songs that:

...makes me wanna dance:

"Your So Hollywood" - Flickerstick

...makes me want to mosh/bang my head:

"aka I.D.I.O.T." - The Hives

...I wish I'd written:

"Gone To The Movies" -Semisonic

...I want to get married to:

"Made To Last" -Semisonic

...I like out of my parents' record collection:

anything by Journey

...my parents like out of my collection:

Dad - Any Bill Withers
Mom - Any BTE, Train, and Abandonded Pools

...I love that I wouldn't know about if it wasn't for a friend:

Anything by Our Lady Peace

...I would love to cover in a gritty punkish style:

"Summerhouse" - BTE

...perfectly sums up my life philosophy:

"Speeding Up To Slow Down" - BTE

...makes me think of stars:

"We Are All Made Of Stars" - Moby

...makes me think of being alone:

"Across The Sea" - Weezer

...would fit perfectly in the opening credits of a movie about my life:

"Je Ne M'en Souviens Pas" - BTE

...would fit perfectly in the closing credits of said movie:

"At Ch. Degualle, Etc." - BTE ( I don't know why, it just...fits. )
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